


Paradoxe

by Twisted_Eternal_Wolvetta



Series: Leoht Gaest [1]
Category: Mai-HiME, Mai-Otome
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/F, Tragedy, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 20:44:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18645775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Eternal_Wolvetta/pseuds/Twisted_Eternal_Wolvetta
Summary: Her heart had shattered asunder; aflame, and scorching within her delirium it contracted erratically until nothing but incomprehensible delusion swarmed her. Fujino Shizuru was hardly human, for she was a monstrous, psychopathic killing machine. Nobody-absolutely no one would thwart her advances for she, within her madness would conclude the HiME Carnival.





	Paradoxe

****_“I’m sorry, Shizuru. I love you--truly I do, but I don’t share the feelings you have for me.”_

The sentence produced by her dear friend echoed within her brain chaotically. Relentlessly it mercilessly plunged its dagger within her heart, destroying any sense of reality. Within those sparse seconds, her heart neigh on shattered like that of a broken fountain. All she could do was helplessly stare at Kuga Natsuki as her facade thoroughly vanished. _“Na-tsuki, I… what?”_ What did she _mean_ ?! She… **_didn’t share the same feelings_ **. The revelation sunk in like a cascade of bricks landing on top of her. Blankly she veered her gaze down to her hands which were gently enveloped by Natsuki’s own. They were far too cold. Fujino Shizuru had never expected to be brutally rejected.

_“It wouldn’t have been fair if I never t-”_

_“-Never told me?”_ Shizuru whispered, her shoulders crumbling under the weight of the debuff. She had sacrificed _everything_ for her unrequited love, even her sense of morality. Did her beloved obsession consider her a freak? ... _A lunatic?!_ Feeling frozen fingertips graze along her cheeks, Shizuru roughly pulled away to swiftly stand. _“You think of me as a_ **_psychopath_ ** _?”_

_“I never s-”_

_“Then_ **_what_ ** _was you going to say?”_ An uncontrollable fire burned within Shizuru. She had been _rejected_ by the one person she cared for. Seething inexplicably, she could only stare through Natsuki whom cautiously stood as well. There was nothing to say. _Absolutely nothing._ Making a move to turn on her heel, her ears pricked as she heard the younger woman approach her. _“_ **_Do not follow me.”_ **She hissed, drawing her naginata into existence.

_“S-Shizuru?!”_

All in an instant, the abandoned shrine was deathly silent. Glazed senses were knocked back into actuality, but Shizuru only continued to glower in what she had created; until the realisation set in. _“...Natsuki?”_ She dreaded a breath, without omission what was left of her heart completely shattered at that moment. H-had she… Releasing her unsteady hold upon her bloodied naginata, the weapon remained impaled inside of the collapsed woman’s stomach. Treading a step backwards, the shock nullified Shizuru totally; Then, just like that, Natsuki sank backwards. Rushing forward, Shizuru collapsed knees first before her downed love, desperately touching along Natsuki’s cheeks. _“O-oh, Gods… N-Na-tsuki!”_

There was _nothing_ she could do.

A swirling aura disorientated her, begetting her to experience an unimaginable depersonalisation. No longer inside of her body, she took witness to herself prising closer to Natsuki’s body. Before she could comprehend it, she was back. But Natsuki was **_nowhere to be seen_ **. What had…? Noticing that she now stared at dirt instead of concrete, her fingertips uselessly slid into the soil. Distraughtly, she brought her gaze upwards, landing her eyes onto the shelter she had brought Natsuki to previously. An indescribable feeling gushed into her stomach sickly.

Wobbling onto her feet, she woozily staggered towards the building. _“N-Na-tsuki…?”_ She called. Bumping against the building’s platform, Shizuru dragged herself close to the paper wall. She could… _she could see her_ …! Sliding the door open, she lunged inside.

Daring not to bring herself closer, she could only watch Natsuki’s prone--but indeed alive--body. If Natsuki was fine, what in hell’s name had that been?! Had she hallucinated the whole thing? Was she _insane_?

Unable to fathom what had transpired, Shizuru felt utterly useless. Her heart slammed against her chest painfully, and she pressed her hand to her breast. ‘ _Calm. Calm down. Natsuki is_ **_fine_ ** _’_.

Sitting herself down beside Natsuki none too gracefully, she was still unable to take her eyes away from her. Ceaselessly she attempted to relax herself, but alas, it was impossible; the rejection was imploding continuously inside of her mind. **_I don’t share the feelings you have for me_ ** . **_I’m sorry, Shizuru. I love you--I truly do, but-_ ** . ‘ _I. Love. You’._ Shizuru’s lips moved upon the confession, but no words imparted. Clenching her teeth, a choked gasp released from her throat. Was this some sick _joke_ ? She… _“I...I-I, Na-tsuki. Wake up, pl-ease.”_ Hesitantly nudging the ice HiME’s shoulder, her movements turned erratic until Natsuki was shaken awake.

“U-ugh-- _what?_...Shizuru?” Looking vacantly at the older woman, Natsuki’s expression hardened. “...Where’s Yuuki?”

“Sh-she’s… she’s not here. You’re safe.” Shizuru breathed panickedly. She had rescued Natsuki from Yuuki. The manipulative slut had tried to murder Natsuki-- _just like she had moments ago._ Did Shizuru _deserve_ to be in Natsuki’s company at all? How _dare_ she after all she’s done? It was nerve racking. Worse, Natsuki didn’t know a thing.

“What’s… wrong, Shizuru?” Natsuki asked carefully.

**_What’s wrong._ ** A disgusting taste settled against Shizuru’s tongue like bile. Swirling the flavour around her mouth futilely, she received a pointed stare. Natsuki looked _awful_ . Clenching her molars together, she hissed through her teeth. _“I thought I had lost you.”_ Worsening her delirious wellbeing, she curtly realised their situation; It was horrifyingly similar to what had happened minutes prior. Refusing to allow it to repeat, she quickly stood. “Natsuki should rest. I will guard the house.” _“-zuru”_ Sliding the door shut on her one-sided love, Shizuru released a crushed sigh.

Now left alone outside the door, her mind was swamped. _What was happening?!_ Slapping her palms to her forehead, she dragged her fingertips through her hair. Had she perhaps witnessed her future? Was she en route to that reality? _...Could she_ **_change_ ** _it?_ Sheer pandemonium scorched her brain, until-- _something clicked_ . If she could change reality itself, she **_would_ ** _\--_ An exacerbating sensation caused the hairs on her neck to suddenly rise. A heavy mechanical boom had reverberated throughout the entire area. _...What… was that?_

Cautiously moving away from the building, her eyes set upon it distaughtly. A hulking frame of an arachnid arched over the building’s roof, towering above Shizuru.

**_“I’m going to rip your throat out, you fucking faggot!”_ ** Yuuki Nao screamed down at her from the CHILD’s side. A thick layer of webbing was spewed over the shelter, separating her from Natsuki. **_“You’re going to pay for what you did to me!”_ **

Moonlight reflected off the fine strands of webbing like glittering gemstones.They were dazzling--and treacherous. Materialising her naginata, Shizuru was unsure how to proceed. If she summoned Kiyohime, the building would inevitably be pulverised. On another note, Yuuki wasn’t stupid enough to jump down. Atrociously, her element could only slice through so much webbing.

No, _no,_ ** _no._** This time _she_ was going to save Natsuki. Yuuki was the one who was going to _pay dearly_. **_Not. Her._** Within one swift arc, Shizuru extended her naginata horizontally. The blades haphazardly swerved through the webbing like butter, only to bounce off Julia’s tall legs pathetically.

**_“Don’t underestimate me!”_ ** Yuuki encircled Julia’s limbs, tearing her gauntlet’s claws towards Shizuru. The thin metal menacingly carved a path through webbing into her direction. **_“JULIA!”_ ** She roared, her CHILD jumping into action as she drew her gauntlet’s claws back. The arachnid shrieked, vaulting down onto the floor which prompted the ground to quake. Outstretching its legs, it loomed over the forsaken HiME. **_“DESTROY HER!”_ **

Shizuru needed to retreat. _Only then_ would she safely summon Kiyohime. Falling back, the terrifying rumble produced by the CHILD stalked her.

**_“COWARD!-”_ ** _“-Kiyohime.”_ Behind her a monstrous squid-hydra manifested into existence. Spinning on her heel, Shizuru rose her element. _“Go, now.”_ She uttered calmly to her CHILD, its heads flailing as it screeched. The two entities bombarded into one another, provoking soil, and dirt to billow up into the sky alike an explosion. Turning her head to circumvent blindness, the council president latched her eyes upon the redhead atop the roof. Yuuki was **_furious._ **Her lip twitched upon the fact. Good. Gripping her naginata, she sliced cleanly at Julia’s legs whom she approached. This time, her element didn’t deflect. A plume of emerald sparkles erupted from the diagonal tear, forcing the arachnid to topple. All the while, Yuuki angrishly squalled.

At last Yuuki joined her. Asinine in nature, Yuuki pounced towards her, slashing her gauntlet furiously. Perfect disorder commenced; Shizuru’s only option was to dodge. In what seemed like a fatal dance, she chastised; _“Am I the coward when_ **_you_ ** _held Natsuki hostage--not once, but twofold?”_ How _dare_ she call her the craven when it was _her_ whom apprehended her most precious person?

The CHILDs raged around them, the HiME absorbed into contempt; and then, it happened. Kiyohime hooked its jaws onto Julia, shaking hard. At that moment, a deep hatred smeared Yuuki who screamed. Extending her claws, she slashed them across Shizuru’s cheek. Miraculously Julia broke free, and she sneered at the elder whom had staggered back. **_“You fucking bitch!”_ **She spat violently.

By reflex, Shizuru grazed her fingers along the deep cuts. They freely oozed blood, the liquid staining down her jawline, and dripping against her kimono. Outraged, she swung her naginata straight at the redhead’s stomach whom barely escaped. _“Kiyohime.”_ She commanded, the squid-hydra setting its multitude gaze upon her. _“Kill the CHILD.”_ Never once did she remove her searing stare from Yuuki. Taking pleasure in watching the HiME crumble before her, she darkly smiled.

**_“YOU AREN’T KILLING MY MOTHER!”_ **Yuuki released a final bellowing howl, coming between Shizuru’s naginata, and Julia. The element reaped down upon the vagabond, sweeping through like water across her stomach. Screaming out, she clutched her abdomen, collapsing as blood drained around her.

Panting, Shizuru could only stare as Julia dematerialised, and Yuuki dissipated in a fog of shimmering green. Her own vision darkened as if faint, then, she found herself in an entirely new location; the student council room.

Panicked she surveyed her surroundings. _No one was here_ . It was the afternoon, and most students had vacated home. She herself was clothed in her uniform. She was _fine_. This was… this was a week prior to the Carnival, yes? Looking to the calendar, this was indeed the case. Hugging her arms around her stomach, Shizuru collapsed into her chair. It was clear she was totally mad.

. . .

Her phone was ringing sporadically, and Shizuru already knew precisely who it was. She eyed the device against the desk which irritably vibrated, unsure whether to hang the call. She was yet to go home, having spent an entire hour nebulously musing amongst herself. Natsuki rarely called unless it was an emergency or she desired something: and so, she had no choice. Unflipping the mobile, she cautiously answered the call. “...Natsuki?” What could she be wanting? She didn’t usually call during the late afternoon. _“Shizuru. I’m at the church, There’s something I need to tell you.”_ Pausing midway from standing, Shizuru’s delicate mind automatically flew to possibilities. Now her interest had truly piqued, kickstarting her autodrive. “I will be there momentarily.” The call was promptly cut, as was Natsuki’s nature to do so.

Standing to her full height, she pocketed her flip phone, and exited the student council office. What could it possibly be that Natsuki wanted? There had been no strain evident within her tone, alluding Shizuru to decide it wasn’t anything antagonistic. Could she be sure--no, _no_ . She knew Natsuki far too well. If something would arise, she would _stop_ it short. She couldn’t begin to fathom what horrors awaited her this time; or if any. She had _killed_ Natsuki. Her morality had been carved into just an hour ago. In whose right mind would allow themselves to interrelate with a loved one who had survived their brutal attack? Only a **_bloodthirsty psychopath_ ** would. Just how low had she fallen to unquestionably go to meet Natsuki whom she had previously murdered? _Worse_ , _Natsuki didn’t know a thing._ Fujino Shizuru was a monster.

Fixated upon her internal ramblings, Shizuru hadn’t even noticed she had arrived at the church. Within the reddened dusk, the tower appeared bizarrely foreboding. Staring at the clock face, she jumped when a voice emitted closely behind her.

“Shizuru? I’m here.”

Landing her gaze upon Natsuki, Shizuru could only imagine what her expression might look like. The rebel biker was pointedly staring at her, triggering Shizuru to anxiously wonder if this was indeed the case. Were her eyes sore still? Could she tell she had been crying minutes prior? Did Natsuki _know_ she had been murdered?

“Are you alright, Shizuru? You don’t look so great.”

What? “Oh, no. I am fine. My student council duties have unfortunately been heavy.” She lied through her teeth, smiling fakely. Keeping her eyes trained with the younger HiME’s, Shizuru wondered whether Natsuki had caught her bluff. “What is it you need?”

“Student info.” Gesturing Shizuru to tail her, Natsuki had them round the corner of the church to the forestline. Behind one of the trees, her Ducati was parked discreetly. “I need a list of names, and addresses.”

This precise event had occurred previously, Shizuru realised. This, and the calendar was the proof she had sought that the Carnival hadn’t begun. Relief didn’t greet her, but the optimism to succeed in altering the future did. She had more time on her hands now; As long as nobody died, the timeline wouldn’t be disrupted. _Hopefully._ Furthermore, originally she had provided Natsuki with the information; what would happen if she did the opposite? She mused upon the possibility, only halting when her unrequited love expectantly stared. “I am unsure whether I have access for the time being. I will have to check.” She spoke carefully. Keeping her eyes trained upon Natsuki’s, she was inclined to believe her bluff had succeeded.

“Alright, but make it quick. I’ve got work to do.”

Watching the rebel depart with a rev of her engine, Shizuru was left to her own devices. She supposed her best cause of action would be to at least check the student records. However this would have to wait until tomorrow. Shizuru now had a motive; the plan would come later. _“Sister, where should we put these pews?”_ Tokiha Mai? Having just rounded the corner, she peered through the open double doors. Down the long aisle stood Sister Sanada with Tokiha Mai, Tokiha Takumi, Okuzaki Akira, and Minagi Mikoto. There was a group she hadn’t seen in a while. Were they volunteering, Shizuru wondered? Observing the crowd reorganise the layout of the church’s seating, Shizuru felt urged to wander inside. She didn’t obligate to the Christian faith, nor did she take fancy in its phantasmical tales.There was however a harmonious atmosphere a church wrought. Her insecurities weren’t judged within a house of God--at least on the rare occasion she had visited a holy site.

_“Please move them towards the altar over here.”_ Sister Sanada murmured, glancing over towards the entrance, and landing her eyes upon the student council president. Something slanted the nun’s demeanour precipitously, provoking her to approach her. _“You!”_ . She hissed, bewildering Shizuru profoundly. _“How dare you?”_

“Excuse me?” Warily eyeing the Sister, Shizuru hadn’t a clue why she was even seemingly furious. She couldn’t possibly have offended--

_“--Nonsense! You know precisely what you have done. Why wouldn’t you when your cursed paradigm crusade has plagued this Carnival so heavily already? When will your insatiable lust for death end?! This isn’t the path His children should take! I will put an end to your criminal insanity.”_ The manic nun resorted to materialising the bow, an aura manifesting itself around the two women. _“I can only pray that Our Lord grants your spirit condemnation!”_

Total conversion of reality transpired right in front of Shizuru eyes whom remained stuck in place. The aura burned a shocking crimson, transforming their environment into a gothic architectural marvel. The walls stretched skywards, and spectacular windowed arches glittered dazzlingly with stained glass. The thirteen gigantic windows portrayed CHILDs, each befelling their end except for its central CHILD; St Vlas whom was emblazoned within a glorifying burst of sunlight.

_“I have took witness to the pure absurdity of death, and rebirth. You, child; you have endorsed nary a shred of despair!”_ Barring St Vlas’ window partially, Sister Sanada lay her hand atop Shizuru’s head. _“You have ceased to exist by arrow, and bullet; By organ you have been vanquished into maddened torment by crystalline whispers. You have wrought your own death, been petrified to a husk, and held your assassinated lover within your arms. Still your gaest crumbles before His undying presence as you stumble into neurasthenia; your student’s burning affections being crushed under your heel. Yet_ **_still, still the casus of your mind remains corrupt!”_ **

A flash of a thousand memories gorged through Shizuru’s mind in the blink of an eye. Alike to an hallucinatory nightmare, aporia raged inside of her. Spontaneously several lifetimes slammed into one-- _she could remember everything._ Sanada Yukariko had triggered the HiME Carnival during the original timeline. _She was responsible for it all._

**_“We are the paradoxen disciples; may our death atone to His judgement!”_ ** Without pause, the psychotic archer leapt backwards into the fiery crown of light. **_“St Vlas!”_ **She bellowed. Behind her the wholly visible window shone floridly, and her CHILD’s engraving evaporated into nothingness. Beams of light transcended directly behind her, an immense horse coalescing into existence.

They were to kill each other in order to end the Carnival’s restarts. This was gravely coherent to the Kyoto-born. She wouldn’t question how she had forgotten her previous lives, nor what her future foretold. All which lay certain for her was the release of death; for the gateway to her next life in reality prevailed. Fujino Shizuru would abandon this lifetime, and join another anew. **_“Kiyohime.”_ **

Mirroring St Vlas’ dynamic entry, the squid-like behemoth was crammed tightly inside of the illusionary cathedral. She absolutely towered above her initial size; her violet craniums lowering to hover by her HiME’s sides. Anticipating the CHILD’s magnitude, Shizuru proudly-- _discreetly_ \--smiled as the serpents nudged into her. This Sister remained convinced that she was the Herald of a God; she would prove her wrong. **_“Break through St Vlas’ illusions.”_ **Scaling underneath one of Kiyohime’s necks, Shizuru materialised her naginata. “Sister, do you wish to die likewise?” She approached the religious woman until they stood opposite ends of the blazing crown of fire.

Summoning an arrow, Yukariko nocked it to her bowstring. “I appreciate it; May you, and I become purified in His fiery embrace!” Encompassed by the ringed inferno, a plume of smoke rocketed into the spire, shattering the stainless glass into projectile rain. The shards cascaded down between them, the cathedral morphing into that of an endless desert plain. But the fire still inconceivably remained.

Unable to comprehend the situation, Shizuru vaulted backwards from the impossible embers, her feet sinking into the hot sands. **_This existed? Everything was real?_ **An arrow was launched deeply into the floor before her feet, compelling her to initiate her attack. St Vlas’, and Kiyohime were no longer present. They were alone here.

Swerving around the impaled arrow, Shizuru swiftly halved their distance, ruthlessly swinging her naginata towards the nun. Upon that moment, Yukariko’s fresh arrow breezed past Shizuru, her element swung forward, and clashed against the blade. The bow was sent flying by the action, and the Sister merely rematerialised it back into her hands.

_“You are but a novice! Allow yourself to reap the whirlwind of remorse!”_ The nun challenged, landing her hand to Shizuru’s chest, she hauled her backwards. “We are but martyrs within this looping Carnival! Tear down its walls, and we shall annihilate it!”

The women’s madness sparked another interjection between their realities. Foremost, as Shizuru swung her element, the environment flashed into an office. Frozen stiff, she distraughtly stared right at an oddly dressed, and older Natsuki sat behind a desk. The mystified woman eyed her just as astoundedly as Shizuru’s world warped again. ...Wh-what? _What the hell had that been?!_ Stumbling as her existence changed, she was thrown head first back into the desert. An older Natsuki?!

Lumbering back into action, Shizuru levelled her naginata in front of herself; The blade pointed at the crazed woman who in response nocked a newly summoned arrow. The released projectile thundered towards Shizuru who dodged it, coolly hefting her naginata upwards, and behind her back. Chopping downwards, she uttered not a single word as the element evaded the Sister. Shizuru’s mind was asunder by what she had just seen. Her scenery transitioning was manageable, but _a living, breathing Natsuki?_ Shuffling her feet flat against the desert floor, she inched her way nearer to Yukariko. _‘Calm. Calm down. Aim for the arms.’_ Yukariko’s useless if she can’t use her bow. Swinging the element across into an arc, Shizuru missed time, and time again.

_“You can do better than that.”_ Yukariko hissed, abandoning her bow entirely. A drastic resentment built up against them, the Sister instead taking to wildly swinging an arrow at Shizuru. It was capricious enough that the Kyoto-born became perplexed. Taking her chance, the elder HiME leapt, plunging the laser deeply within the student’s shoulder. Tearing her scorched palm away, Yukariko braced forward, clenching her other against the blackened flesh. _“Now do you see?”_

**_“Be silent.”_ ** Shizuru heaved perilously. It **burned;** it seared inside of her nerves, dragging her to her knees. She couldn’t-- **_wouldn’t_ **\--be defeated so mindlessly! The arrow had melted a gaping hole inside of her clothing, and flesh. It was abysmal; the gore pouring down to discolour her uniform disgustingly. Adrenaline drove her high which pulled her back up to her feet. Through the agonising delirium, Shizuru lurched her naginata, cutting into the woman’s abdomen. Choking for air, she viewed the archer who had been pushed backwards from the weight to collapse forth. They only stared at one another for a time, blood dribbling from the Sister’s mouth.

Before the woman could open her mouth, Shizuru interjected. **_“Quiet.”_ ** Tearing up, Shizuru snatched hold of Yukariko’s jaw. **_“I do not care for your fanatical nonsense.”_ **She seethed. Freezing, she felt the precipitous chill run down her neck. What… was that? Without loosening her grip on the manic woman, Shizuru warily glanced behind her.

St Vlas towered above her within a raging inferno. The stallion’s gaze pierced within her soul, blanketing her mind into darkness. It was a wave of woe unthreading her sanity like a loose string until suddenly nothing but vaporisation clouded her mind. A fleeting breath escaped her, and she hesitantly lead her eyes back to the Sister. An arrow had been gorged within her heart, the plasma frying away her ribs, and tearing down into her heart. Within that last thought process, she took to staring at Yukariko as they both crumbled, St Vlas dispersing into a plume of emerald.

. . .

_“...are you Einherjar?”_


End file.
